we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
