Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
