Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
