Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
