Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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