Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
That reminds me...we need to get swords
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
