we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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