you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
