They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
And then my night got REAL pukey
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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