Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
