He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
