it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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