She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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