and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
