I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
