ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
