Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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