cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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