Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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