It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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