Your tits are I can't wait for
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
