Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm always down for nudity.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
