I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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