You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also, beer. Big fan.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
