a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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