Where are you?
In a non slutty way
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
