my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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