Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize