Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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