when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
