this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
