This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
