Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
