I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
