Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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