I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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