So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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