Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
