awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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