My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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