U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I can't turn off my feet"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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