Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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