there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The air was thick with penises
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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