Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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