Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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