Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
