so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize