I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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