I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
