so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize