I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
