Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
