Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
