and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
