5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
