Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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