Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
