Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
