Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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